what i want in my future

• a lovely old house filled with cute little trinkets, and beautiful artwork and lots of books and music, with a big backyard.
  
• a husband/boyfriend that will make me laugh and will treat me right. he'll be my best friend and my best lover, and we'll dance and drink and cuddle under the covers every night.
  
• cats and/or dogs and/or bunnies and/or birds. lots of pets.
• a garden filed with yummy food and pretty flowers
• lots of friends that i can talk to and laugh with and who i can invite to dinner parties.
• a good job that provides well and i enjoy but doesn't stress me out too much.
• enough money to travel a bit
• the courage and motivation to change things in the world; to help hungry people, to educate people about sexism, to help abandoned animals, to provide clothing for the needy, to help the abused.
• a home in a good town or city, full of culture, good food, good schools, live music, and parks.
• someday, maybe, some kids who i can dote upon and teach and love and see grow up into wonderful human beings.
• and if that happens, i can hopefully some day be a darling old grandma with cute little grandchildren.

the perfect careers for me

wedding planner
children's book author
sex columnist
international super spy
dog groomer
hair stylist
farmer
perfume maker
boutique owner
massage therapist
lounge singer
gourmet baker

fox confessor brings the flood

i don't know who i am sometimes, what to expect from myself and what to do with myself...how to act and how to speak.

turkey day tomorrow. beaucoup la nurriture. i love my mom for baking me pie and loading me up with leftovers so i won't have to go grocery shopping for a while.


como people got together for thai food today. our friend that goes to school in colorado came back and we watched true life: i'm polyamorus. it was very dramatic. one story was a guy in a realtionship with two other guys and there was drama drama drama because he felt left out of their lovin. then the other story was about this really cute girl with a great wardrobe who was exploring polyamory and got into a realtionship with an older woman and man. and they went to sexy costume parties and drank and had sex and danced. it looked so fun. 

things i'm obsessed with as of late:
getting my nips pierced...should i shouldn't i?
vintage wedding dresses...just to look at, i'm not getting hitched or anything
whip it! and roller-derby culture....badass
dolly parton...i want to go to dollywood sooo badly
Cake Boss...buddy is my homeboy
what am i going to get everybody for christmas?!
potential names for future cats/children
regretsy.com
Meet the Natives! it premieres on the travel channel on sunday!!!
                                                                                    turning 20 in 2 months....ahhhhhhh

things that have made me cry as of late

Where The Wild Things Are
those ASPCA ads with the sad dogs and kitties
breaking the sink disposal
The Princess Bride
dirty laundry
burning my tounge on hot cocoa
the bridesmaid toast at a wedding
the actual wedding
cold wind on my bare legs

Math kicks my ass. I must be a retard because I do not understand it. I can study and study and study and still get bitch slapped by my exam.
I'm going to train to be an assassin/international super spy, so fuck college. I haven't learned anything that i couldn't learn by opening a goddamn book. If i had the balls, i'd drop out and teach myself.
I love learning, but lately, aka the last 12 years, it's been a chore. I have to do it, i don't have time to read what i want, write what i want, do what i want. maybe i'm not self-disciplined enough, but i'd like to hope that i am. I can only hope for so much.

I enrolled for classes today. Exciting exciting. After next semester, i'm going to be a junior. What oddity and strangeness.

in other news, my mother said she's pay for a tattoo for my birthday if i picked out something 'tasteful.' how does one quantify tasteful? for me, it's a unicorn fucking a dolphin, set against the backdrop of a rainbow.